It may have seemed like you were banging against a wall. This is what relationships do find out more. You are in a relationship that doesn’t work. If you are a parent, your child starts to act like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. The Marriage and Family Therapist is a life raft during a stormy time.
Imagine a psychologist as an expert relationship investigator. All they need is tissues, a Zen-garden or a couch. They dig deeply to find out why our emotions have gotten out of control. These professionals scan emotions as MRI machines. These professionals scan your feelings and interactions, instead of your internal structures. It’s almost like searching for the needle in a haystack. The only haystack is your tangled relationship.
Jane and Mark were a couple who felt they were speaking different languages. Jane cried, “He never listens!” Mark responded, “She’s never listened to!” Sherlock Holmes would not have denied that these people were in need of help. The therapist peeled away the layers as if peeling an onion. Like when cutting onions, many tears were shed. In those sessions, however, their arguments started to transform into dialogues. The results were almost magical. But there was a lot of work behind them.
Marriage and family counselors can be used to describe emotional chiropractors. Families are able to regain equilibrium when misaligned beliefs are corrected. These tools are not just Band Aids; they can also help you create a future-oriented toolkit. Imagine being able relate to your spouse more effectively, along with your children, parents-in-law, and even the dog. This is like upgrading from black and White TVs to Ultra HD.
You might be wondering how they do it. This isn’t some kind hocuspocus. It’s about understanding the attachment style, communication styles, and emotional triggers. Consider the Smiths. Their therapy sessions were similar unraveling a knotted ball of yarn. They began with a chaotic mess and by the time they finished, had created a beautiful, tapestry. Each thread represented an understanding or emotion that was shared.
Our mistakes are often difficult to identify because we have a bias. Although you may consider yourself to be calm and collected when disagreeing, your partner might see that as an overreaction. The therapist can help cut through confusion by taking a different perspective. This is almost like having a GPS for emotions. GPS will automatically recalculate a route when you make an emotional mistake.
One final point: Therapy is not the equivalent of popping a tablet that instantly makes you feel better. To reach the crystal clear, calm waters, you must first slog your way through the mud. Rome wasn’t constructed overnight. The same is true for strong relationships. Therapy is like a guide, which helps you to carefully put each brick into place.
Parents are not left out. The family therapist knows how to handle the circus that is a family. A family therapist can intervene if you’re worried that your teenager will explode like a soda-bottle or if your seven-year old has turned into a stubborn mule.
Cindy joked that the therapists might be out-of-a-job if they could write manuals about love and parenting. These are living manuals that help you to navigate the curveballs of life. Next time you feel like your life is being thrown in a whirlwind, reach out. It’s perfectly acceptable to ask directions when you feel lost in the mazes that are human emotions.
Do you believe you need to have a PhD in order to understand therapists? Real people just talk about the real stuff. These conversations may feel like peeling away layers of emotional bandages, but they can lead to real healing. Take a magnifying lens metaphor and begin this journey in an open way. Your future-self is going to thank you.
Are you willing to make the leap? These therapists will help you to improve your marriage or family, or even just get through another family dinner. Never forget: It is never too late for you to change the story of your family.